Feline Nursery- more than just a lot of pussy

Want something smarter than what you have here? Something a little more edgy by someone who knows a lot stuff about stuff. Check out my the new link, I highly endorse it.

By the way, I didn't get the name at first- I really thought it was just a clever way to talk about, you know, and how much you like it. Then, I googled Feline Nursery and found out about the whole Misfits reference. ooooohhhhh. oops.

Feline Nursery also has a growing collection of Wikipedia entries that he has written. I've read all his entries now and am so much the better for it. Did you ever want to learn about: Standing Operating Procedure, M-16, Squad Automatic Weapon; and for the less military inclined about Negative Approach, Allen Sherman, Kansas City school systems and Chicago? You never know when you will use this stuff.

Just last night my new knowledge made me the star of my business dinner. I totally used the difference between Standing Operating Procedure and what people think is STANDARD Operating Procedure. I likened it to the new strategy we are testing in Northeast Europe. I was all, you know- many people don't know that Standing Operating Procedure is.... and similarly here we are implementing a temporary strategy that suits the unique situation... and until further time we will be executing..... so thanks. I needed the boost.

Don't buy these Sandwiches

At the risk of losing all my lucrative advertising contracts, I am going to point out how lame it is that right above my post about how stupid sandwiches are, there are two advertisements for sandwiches. Do not click on these. Seriously, no matter how much you want to be a sandwich bar owner in the UK or eat sandwiches and buffets, do not be lured. They are British and very tricky.

I am putting this next to a grotesque picture of a horse's ass that has a goiter with bows on it. First, because this deserves the horse's ass award. Second, because I want to see if my next ad will be something for a horse's ass or goiters. Don't click on that one either.

Who wants a nice shrimp Mayonnaise?

Sandwiches. It's all the Brits eat.

I am in a hotel in London and just ordered room-service. I am not really that hungry so I ordered some hummus, naan bread and a salad. What comes to my door? A sandwich. A hummus sandwich, with butter! And not like a ciabatta, foccacia gourmet sandwich with hummus and roasted peppers. It's sliced Wheat Bread that you can buy at the grocery store. The menu calles it 'seeded granary' I thought that would be some sort of pita triangles, maybe even lightly toasted to dip into my humus.


This isn't my first Sandwich ordeal here either. Whenever I go back home I put a little sandwich ban on my life for a while to clean out my system. Coming to London for work is an automatic three sandwich minimum. That's one on the plane coming and going and one during whatever meeting I have. I've been here since Sunday night and I have had five already. I don't leave until Thursday. Sometimes during meetings I think we are going to have a real lunch because it is catered. You know what they wheel in? Sandwiches. Gross ones with no crusts, always butter, cucumbers and some cheese. And if it is mixed with Mayonaise it's not called 'tuna salad' or 'egg salad' they just call it Whatever Mayonnaise- Shrimp Mayonaise. Yesterday, hung-over, I inadvertantly chowed down a tuna mayonnaise that was over a foot-long. I still feel fat. Not even from the sandwich, but from the name. How much fish mayonaise did I actually consume and can we just call it a tuna sandwich? I used to eat those all the time and it wasn't an issue.

I know the Brits aren't known for their food, but I think they could try a little harder than pre-prepared sandwich as the national food. Maybe everyone made fun of the food so much that they just quit. From now on, no matter if it's sandwich material or not, it's going to be slapped between two of the crappiest, flimsiest pieces of bread we can find, buttered and called a meal. The Sandwich Industry is a 3.3bn Industry in the UK, compared to 1bn for pizza. Pizza. That means that Brits are eating three nasty mayonaisse sandwiches for every slice of pizza they eat. And that doesn't count a little ham and cheese or PB&J you make at home. This 3.3bn only includes the sandwiches that are made by someone else, cut into triangles and jammed in a box under plastic cover. The BSA (British Sandwich Association- yes there is one and they have a web-site) is actually trying to discourage people from making their own sandwiches at home with ingredients. They caution that a general consumer (not professional sandwich maker) wouldn't be able to get the exact nutrition right and might use ingredients that aren't fresh anymore.

A total of 11% of the 3.3bn worth of sandwiches are being bought in either Convenience Stores or Petrol Stations. 11%. You know when you put gas in the car or pass a corner store-- you are hungry, you definitely want a drink of some sort and you are wondering if you should buy chips or a Hostess cupcake or something? You see the old ham and cheese sandwiches in the case next to the drinks and pass them over. Yeah. Not the Brits. They are standing in front of the case wondering if they should get the shrimp mayonaise or Chicken Tikka.

like the guy who's the owner of a retarded horse with two broken legs

This one goes out to everyone who's ever been the owner of a retarded horse with two broken legs. You know, the boyfriend or girlfriend who makes all of their emotional problems yours. You think you are a good person because you love them and think your love and support will make them better. Yeah. You know who you are.

Thank you, Brian. You have poorly written, but perfectly articulated, this problem.

I found this on ihatewomen.com SERIOUSLY!! IT'S TRUE!! Hilarious.

There is a Woman named KATIE BURNS who lived in Seattle some years back during college(Originally from Pasedena, CA.) She is now in San Fran. I would like to tell/help the guys there to stay away from her...at least two miles. This may be hard to do as she is very attractive(10)with big brown eyes, full lips, lovely hair and nice C–cup breasts. This is all bait for the trap of her existence. One day she is happy like she is about to sing n’dance through town, laugh and Smile in joyfull exuberance then the next day she will be sad and sorrowful and not even want to leave her house and be crying for no reason......She will THEN explain to you her terrible Bi–polar disorder and the arsenal of Medication she is constantly on or NOT on and trying to be "natural" but not tell you or her family she stopped taking the meds so everyone is on this crazy roller–coaster together. You become stuck because the sex is really good but your brain is telling you RUN! Then it will get really interesting when you become symbolically like a guy whos the owner of a retarded horse with two broken legs...somehow you become caring of this mess you accidently became involved with, like youre a helpful Good–Citizen who knows the meaning of true Love....THEN SHE TREATS YOU LIKE CRAP FOLLOWED BY CHEATING ON YOU!!!!! SERIOUSLY !!! ITS TRUE !!! Brian , HI 02/14/06

Ok. Which one of you wrote this?

I found this on Postsecret.com which I like to read when I remember.

You know what's peinlich?

Fat Usher.

Peinlich means embarassing. A few weeks ago I was out at a beer tavern drinking beer and speaking a lot of german. I was telling a story that I now can't remember, but it was something that was pretty embarassing and lame for the person I was speaking about. Instead of making the face that should go with the words 'totally embarassing' I said it like I just discovered the secret of the universe, with pride and a lot of positive head nodding- Peinlich- wink wink heh heh. I am adding words to my vocabulary all the time. I always knew that Peinlich was something negative because whenever someone does something that sucks someone says 'ooohhh. Peinlich.' It's just I had never used it in a sentence before. I was so proud. Alexander saw my big win and had a little laugh. Now, I say peinlich with the happy face all the time.

Tonight I am finishing this damn Swiss Re project while watching a little TV. I mean, I don't really need to be strapped to my office to play around with creating graphics on Power Point. The Olympics is showing female figure skating (so gay) so I am watching VH1 the Fabulous Life of Usher. Ooohhh. Peinlich. They just showed about 20 minutes on how Usher's is famous for his tight body. In fact he just ripped off his shirt and pulled down his pants and announced that if you don't have this cut right here (the muscles sort of between the hip bone) you ain't nothing. He actually said that 'you ain't nothin' and did a little shake of the hand. Yeah. Look at you now though. They shouldn't be allowed to play these once the celebritites get all fat. Peinlich.

This is when I miss New York

From Overheard in New York, on the corner of 34th & 7th. A lady hails a cab...

Cabbie: Are you going this way? I'm not turning around!
Chick: What the..? I'm not hitchhiking, I'm fucking paying you, and if I tell you to turn around you damn well better turn around!

He drives away.

Chick: Yeah, fuck you too, cunty Mr. Crack Whore.
Hipster guy: Lady, you need therapy.
Chick: Man, you need to stop sucking dick. And a haircut.

--34th & 7th

Move the body, hose down the train and let's go!

Today a man jumped in front of my train. We were stopped for three hours doing what one does when someone jumps in front a moving train. He obviously died. I didn't see it, but felt really strange about it, watching them take what was left of him away by helicopter. I was thinking how sad does someone have to be to go out that way. Really. I have a project due so I was sad whilemaking a powerpoint presentation (due EOD today) and thinking about Swiss Re's growth strategy. Then, my battery died. And that left me with myself. Actually, it left me with the guy sitting across from me drawing some complicated looking plans on giant paper. He needed to talk about the suicide. We talked. Two and half hours, no battery, eerie topic.

It took me about one hour to go from thinking how sad life can be to being really pissed. I mean, can't you do vodka and tylenol AT HOME like everyone else? If you committ suicide that is really sad. If your suicide held up 1000 commuters for three hours while we scrape your brain off the train, then you are a dick and no one will miss you.

And so it went for me today. I shared this (in broken german) to the guy sitting across from me. At first he was all- oh life is so complicated, you know and sometimes there just isn't a way out and people take drastic measures. And by the end he was agreeing with me that it should be possible to push the body aside, hose 'er down and send us off.

All the glitters is not gold

France's Brian Joubert, skating to Die Another Day, put a hand down on his quadruple toe loop (part of a quad toe-double toe combination), but was otherwise clean and is in fourth place.

IS there anything sadder in this whole wide-world than a male figure skater who has fallen during his routine? He knows that he doesn't have a shot in hell anymore, but he keeps on skating until the very end.

This really got to me. I thought watching some figure skating would make me laugh tonight. I watched it at the gym thinking all the sequins and jazz hands would help the time go faster. It's FabULUS!! It wasn't fabulous. My heart broke a hundred times. I actually had to stop pedalling for awhile so I could pay more attention. Was gravity kicking tonight in Italy? One after another they kept falling, sometimes three times in the same program. What got to me was the determination. The pride. They keep it together, all of them. After the first fall you know their little heavy hearts fell with them on the ice. And they are probably nervous as hell to try the next jump and fall again. Yet they keep skating. Round and round. Smile on their faces. When it's done, they stand to face the judges, chest heaving- the living picture of what disappointment and regret feel like. Their faces. Oh god, their faces. I get an upset stomach just thinking about it. These guys deserve a lot of credit if only for not crying on camera. Putting it all out there, all that practice and sacrafice. Twenty seconds later it's all in the toilet.

Their costumes totally have nothing to do with what they are dancing to, but whatever. Whatever you want to wear. The guy skating now is skating to Lord of the Dance in a Fat-Elvis costume and a massive gold charm-necklace, but like I said: whatever you want to wear, man. Whatever makes you feel better. Shhh. It's ok. It will be ok. He like touched the ice once with his hand after a quadriple Lindy. I think he just got 7th place for that. Oh boy, the Elvis costume has shoulder pads. Nevermind, it doesn't matter. Look at how brave he is. He just lost the Olympics and he's still smiling for the cameras, waving to his mom. Hi Mom. The announcer is telling everyone how he's 24 and probably at the 'peak' of his career. Last Olympics for this guy. If he isn't going to cry I will instead. What's that a wedding ring? Yeah. I don't think so.

And the most annoying thing are the announcers. Must be so nice in your little booths to pick apart every single move, showing us five times in slow-mo how he just didn't get the knee extended enough to get the gold. GOD! Stop interviewing the losers and asking them how they feel. That's sadistic. We already know. They feel like shit. Wait. The Bronze medal Canadian keeps mouthing something more complicated than 'hi mom' to the camera. I can't understand him through all those teeth. Awww, I think he might be retarted.

I gotta go. 15K Biathlon is on.

We both like soup

Meet Rufus. He just won this year's Best in Show. Why did he win?

His head - perfectly shaped like an egg.

Why does his handler think he won?

A day earlier, Kirk celebrated Rufus' upset win in the terrier group by going shopping. And her new outfit, looking like a black tux, proved lucky.

"Armani was good to me tonight," she said.

Why do Belly Dancers have fat guts?

I was actually thinking this last night as I was trying to fall asleep. I took a dance class yesterday. It was using the principles of dance combined with yoga, pilates and ballet to tone and shape the body. You get the idea. There was a lot of squatting and tightening of the butt-cheeks, holding lunges for five minutes etc. I was holding onto the bar, stomach muscles sucked in, ass squeezed and tucked in. My leg was shaking like a sewing machine, extended in front of me for three whole minutes.(It counts as torture for anyone non-Asian). I remember thinking that tomorrow after all this excercise I will probably have to wear my skinny jeans since non of my normal clothes will fit me anymore. Yes. My body is going to be so hot!

As I was falling asleep I felt a strange excess of flesh around my hips. What's this? I thought I took care of all that extra fatty stuff at the dance class. Does this mean I won't be wearing the skinny jeans tomorrow? So I started to think about this one lady in the class. She reminded me of my sixth grade math teacher whose name I can't recall, but whom Juan Rivera called 'tomato on toothpicks' (to her face) due to her incredibly round upper-body and skinny, long legs. The lady in my class was also a 'tomato on toothpicks'. I believe they call it apple-shaped. Prepare yourself for some heart disease, lady. I mean, this class is designed to keep your 'core' in shape which is why you have to always hold your stomach in. I have done this class three times and this lady has been there everytime I have. Everyone knows her name and she holds her leg out for three minutes without crying and shaking like me. I can only assume that she has been way more than three times. Note: I have seen her naked in the dressing room. Affirmative on the muscular legs with fat gut. It is not just the illusion of clothing. So, back to my original question- How the hell can she take this class twice a week for six months and still have a fat gut?

And that got me thinking about Belly dancers.
You know, I took belly dancing classes for a while. I even bought one of the outfits that I wore for Halloween in 2003. It was definitely the hottest I have ever looked in my life. Just about everything about belly dancing is sexy. Still. Is it worth it? I am just not sure we know enough yet about the connection between excercise designed for the stomach and actually having a fat stomach. I don't want to risk it.

Get up, Pussy

First of all, I see a whole lot of spandex, but I don't see a rifle. Total waste. And what are those? Tears?

I think we all need to pull a page from the book of the Chinese. Did anyone see those Chinese figure skaters last night? The pair where the girl fell with one leg going north and the other one skating away towards the east with the knee all twisted in the wrong direction. Yeah. She could hardly put any weight on it. Then, she shed one tear, forced out a wobbly smile and freaking skated on to win the SILVER medal.

Here's Hao Zhang's response to his partner skating through the fact that five minutes earlier she mangled her leg:
"Gradually after we restarted, it became more clear in our mind how we could continue," he said. "We were challenging the extreme power of human beings (to handle pain)."

Challenging the extreme power of human beings to handle pain. Yeah. I don't know. I think he means the extreme power of Asians to handle pain. Asians have a higher tolerance for pain. See photo above.

I developed this same theory years ago in college, but didn't have better proof until now. Once. Once. I thought it would be cool to get those plastic fingernails that all the girls have. They are great and all, but eventually they have to come off which I was not prepared for. I went to a Korean nail salon and asked for them to be removed. I was told that normally they are soaked off in a nice, warm bowl of acetone so that they can slowly, painlessly dissolve away. You can imagine my surprise when my girl pulls out a pair of pliers, grabs the end of my nail and rips it off, dry. Oh my god the pain! She seemed to not understand why I kept pulling my hand away and wimpering.

I've met the devil. She's 8.

A lot of people say that kids they know are little devils because they run around and use loud voices. Big deal. That's called being a kid and having energy.

Try this one: A little girl tells us a story about how she is going to have her first communion in a few months. She's been going to the classes to practice the procession and taking the eucharist. She doesn't say that sweet part though, her mom does. She simply says that at their last practice one girl got her face burned off. GOOOOOGGSGHHH!!
I was expecting the wide-eyed wonder of an eight year old yammering all the nonsensical details at once with excitment and fluster- but no. Instead it's me who says WHOAH! That's crazy. Wha-wa-wa-what happened? Is she ok? Does she still have a face? To which little girl replies, 'she was standing near her sister. She moved around too much and the candle lit her face on fire' Then, she lets out a little laugh. A laugh that sounds remarkably similar to John Stewart's impression of GW Bush when he's telling truthisms. 'Heh Heh'. So it went like this- "...the candle lit her face on fire... Heh. Heh." She's growing in some serious bucked-teeth too and has almost no upper lip. So picure an eight year old girl with half-grown, horse-teeth, no lip (a la FireMarshall Dan) and a cackling 'heh. heh.' Is your skin crawling yet? I have to shake the evil off everytime I think about it.


I guess we all like the think of the innocence of children and the chances they have to grow, change and succeed. But mark my words, there are going to be some mysterious "accidents" around this girl's area in around 5-10 years. She's got those eyes- half dead, half crazy. She creeps me out.

Oh, there's more! However, I feel uncomfortable detailing the darkside of an eight year old girl. I hesitated to write this post because she has really nice parents. I am sure they didn't plan on spawning something. Maybe I want to have kids one day. Who knows if Satan will pop out instead. I guess it's a risk that parents have to take. Satan works in mysterious ways. She has a brother. Not sure what the prognosis is on him yet. He'll probably be the victim of the myseterious accident in a few years. He'll color outside the lines one too many times, getting his orange crayon on her side of the desk and.... whack, little boy slipped and broke his neck.

heh heh.

Biathletes are the New Ninjas

Ninjas? Please.


This year you've got a new Master and he's wearing a full-body Spandex Cat-Suit. He even has a spandex beanie, (sometimes wool) the world's most aerodymanic clear-lense glasses ( worn outside of the beanie) and he's got a gun strapped to his back. Every 1.5km he's gonna shoot some targets. Five targets, Ninja. And if he misses one he's got to do an extra kilometer penalty before he kicks your ass Biathlete style.

These guys are no joke. They can shoot even when they are out of breath. They can shoot laying on their stomachs, WITH THEIR cross-country skiis STILL ON!!! Of course they can shoot standing up too if they have to. Those glasses aren't just part of the intimidation factor either. The glasses are there so that no matter how fast the Biathletes are gliding around the snow rink, they will still be able to pause, lay down on their stomachs, aim and shoot your ass- without their eyes tearing up.

Prepare yourself for the next Cult Icon. Throw out your "My family was killed by Ninjas" t-shirt. Take the 'RealUltimatePower' website off of your Favorites list. Return your numbchucks. Throw away your ridiculous Halloween 'ninja' costume that you wore every year from 1987-1994. That's all garbage now. You don't need that crap. What you need is to go get yourself some spandex and a rifle.

Seriously, the next time I am in a country that celebrates Halloween I am going as a biathlete.

bikes

You know we give our friend, Doug quite a lot of crap about bikes. I guess I should apologize because I think it was me who said that Doug only thinks about bikes. Bikes. But who's laughing now? Looks like all that thinking about bikes actually helps when you are a professional biker. makes sense.

Congratulations, Doug on being a ViciousCycles rider!!!!!!!! You took a hobby and made it into something more. I checked their website and coming soon they will have a section on their site with pictures and bios from their riders. Don't get these fat thighs like the guy in the picure though, ok?

Whistler, a film by Kate- coming soon

To everyone who has been anticipating the Whistler video since winter 2001, I am just about finished. I have about 10-20 minutes of non-stop action that everyone should see. Some stuff if sick. Some stuff is seriously not as cool as I remember it. I mean, not captured correctly on film. There was this one scene where Zoli and I went too far right and were way back in the trees, alone. We had no idea how to get down or the mountain or find anyone since there really seemed to be no down, just sort of across. At one point we were riding over snow that seemed like a trail, but on closer inspection was patches of packed snow covering gigantic crevices between boulders, hungry to eat little girls. I actually remember trying not to cry and asking myself why I even go snowboarding when I could knit or do crossword puzzles. Zoli, remember when we didn't know if we should go more left or keep straight? We chose left (because we are both really smart) only to look behind us and realize that a straight choice would have taken us over a ravine. So yeah, after all of this drama I thought I would take a video to have proof of the jungle-hell we got caught in trying to find fresh lines in the trees. I specifically remember that we needed to get to the other side of a river/stream gully. The only way across was either to walk and get swallowed by the monsters in there and never come out alive. OR ride across a fallen tree functioning as a rail slide and quickly turn right to avoid still-standing-tree on the other side. Zoli and I did this (at least we did in my memory) I nearly wet my pants. I took a video as proof. You know what?? The video looks like the most beautiful, serene, perfect, white, calm, winter-wonderland that most skiiers only dream of finding. There are no monsters or giant canyon crevices waiting to eat me. WTF? I am totally cutting that from the movie. There are enough scenes with gusting winds, huge air and pellets of snow to make everyone see how truly bad we are.

The movie should be ready shortly. I have to do it on Alexander's computer and the guy is seriously out of town with his computer or actually working on it just about all the time. Go figure. I have made all the cuts and am now putting some music to it. Any special requests to go with your riding scenes? I was thinking Big Pimpin by Jay Z.
later

Did he just say, Puppenkiste? You mean the dolls with strings?

Hey gang,
I just came off a killer weekend of wild partying. It was sick! It started off light with a movie and a drink, went straight through to mozart youth concert and ended up at the theatre, puppet theatre, Yo!

Friday I saw Walk to Line, IN GERMAN. WOOT! Hallo. Ich bin Johnny Cash. Then, I drank some wine and had a great talk with my new (and only) girlfriend here in Germany. No worries. She is seriously awesome. I adore her. Saturday the party continued as we went to see a youth orchestra play mozart. One of Alexander's friends was the conductor. Dirigent in German. For the last piece, there was a clarinet soloist who was so nervous he had to wipe the sweat off his instrument. Yeah, that one. I developed a gross- teenaged acne- so-nervous-that-he's-sweating and-shaking-sympathy crush on the poor guy until our friend the conductor told us later that he is (freaking) 23 and plays professionally. That sort of ruined the mystique. Then, he was just a 23 year old musician with zits and a profuse sweating problem.

But the big party came on Sunday. What? No. Not the Superbowl party. There's no Superbowl in Germany. I'm talking about Puppenkiste. That's puppet theatre for all you Anglos. You have not lived until you've seen the ugly duckling performed with dolls on strings. They sing, they dance, they do everything real actors do except less annoying. There were two ducks one named 'Gunsy' and the other one, 'Roses' for Guns and Roses. They were the rebels. And the little pig baby was named 'Specky' which means bacon. How mean is that? Still, I am thinking of naming my first child Specky if she's chubby. You know, start the torment early and all. The momma pig even had nipples that clacked on the floor when she moved around.

The kids loved it. Oh, not my kids. We had some friends come into town for the day yesterday. They had no reaction, but just about every other kid in the place was eating it up.

Later.

Nipples, Knight Rider

Update- Alexander says if I ever have surgery on my nose, he wants to have his nipples enlarged.

I was going to elaborate, but it's late now and we are about to watch Knight Rider on DVD in German. I forgot how cool this show is. It's even cooler in German. Did you know that when Michael jumps say from a wall he just climbed, they play a snare drum as he lands.

So, do you think I have a big nose?

I am only asking because I was recently in a meeting for work. Not a lot of people ask me my opinion about a lot of things during the course of a meeting at work. I work with a lot of consultants and they ain't asking for anyone's opinion about anything. So imagine my surprise when one of my more senior colleagues turns to me and asks me how I feel about the whole Hamas situation.

Um. What? Yeah.

I said that I find it hard to answer those kinds of questions because my values are too different. I explained that I read the Economist, but at arms length because I have no idea what it is like to operate at such high levels of hatred, passion.... and then I realized, I think he thinks I am Jewish! This isn't the first time. When I was living in Kansas a Kansan told me she just assumed I was Jewish because I had dark hair, a big nose and came from the East Coast. I thought that made me Italian, but whatevs. I told her I assumed her parents were siblings because she's from the midwest. She said she thought that made her from Alabams, but whatevs. Boy, did we laugh and laugh. I am serious about the dark hair, east coast, big nose thing though. She really said that. Strange because most of my Jewish girlfriends have seriously little, cute noses. Have any of you met, Andrea? She's drop-dead gorgeous, all Jewish, half Peruvian. I'm not Jewish and no part Peruvian. Sometimes people tell me that I look like Mr. Bean. He isn't Jewish either, just British. I think from certain angles I look like Isabella Rossellini, but from others I look like The Critic, the cartoon John Luvitz did. IT STINKS! That show cracked me up.


Let's read on this topic, shall we? How about some thoughts from people who have done actual research on the subject. Check out this link which I haven't learned how to link to yet (you remember how to cut and paste though, right?) and check out an article on what it means to have a big nose. Some say it is a sign of character. Others say associating Jewish people with big noses is a form of discrimination. I am not one to discriminate and strangely enough, I don't think my colleague meant anything by it either.


http://www.forward.com/issues/2002/02.11.01/fast1.html

What's for Dinner?

Rot Schnapper in Coconut Milk

I know!! Delicious. Seriously this took about twenty minutes to make and it tasted like a little miracle right on our plates. We could barely contain ourselves eating it. Alls we did was saute up some onions and garlic, red peppers and some hot pepper flakes in some oil. Then, we added a little less than a cup of chopped /crushed whatever tomatoes in a can and a can of 100% coconuts milk (not that mixed with water crap). We let that simmer for about 10 minutes and then added some white fish that we had sprinkled with salt and left in the fridge for an hour or so. Yeah, that's right. Then, we let it all cook together for another ten minutes. Oh, and I made rice with chopped ginger root and more coconut heaven milk instead of water. We stirred in some lime juice once the fish was done cooking, garnished with some cilantro and booyah. Best ever fish coconut yum heaven dinner.

This food is supposedly jamaican, but I think where they said Jamaica, they really meant thailand. I don't even think there are coconuts in Jamaica.