I've met the devil. She's 8.

A lot of people say that kids they know are little devils because they run around and use loud voices. Big deal. That's called being a kid and having energy.

Try this one: A little girl tells us a story about how she is going to have her first communion in a few months. She's been going to the classes to practice the procession and taking the eucharist. She doesn't say that sweet part though, her mom does. She simply says that at their last practice one girl got her face burned off. GOOOOOGGSGHHH!!
I was expecting the wide-eyed wonder of an eight year old yammering all the nonsensical details at once with excitment and fluster- but no. Instead it's me who says WHOAH! That's crazy. Wha-wa-wa-what happened? Is she ok? Does she still have a face? To which little girl replies, 'she was standing near her sister. She moved around too much and the candle lit her face on fire' Then, she lets out a little laugh. A laugh that sounds remarkably similar to John Stewart's impression of GW Bush when he's telling truthisms. 'Heh Heh'. So it went like this- "...the candle lit her face on fire... Heh. Heh." She's growing in some serious bucked-teeth too and has almost no upper lip. So picure an eight year old girl with half-grown, horse-teeth, no lip (a la FireMarshall Dan) and a cackling 'heh. heh.' Is your skin crawling yet? I have to shake the evil off everytime I think about it.


I guess we all like the think of the innocence of children and the chances they have to grow, change and succeed. But mark my words, there are going to be some mysterious "accidents" around this girl's area in around 5-10 years. She's got those eyes- half dead, half crazy. She creeps me out.

Oh, there's more! However, I feel uncomfortable detailing the darkside of an eight year old girl. I hesitated to write this post because she has really nice parents. I am sure they didn't plan on spawning something. Maybe I want to have kids one day. Who knows if Satan will pop out instead. I guess it's a risk that parents have to take. Satan works in mysterious ways. She has a brother. Not sure what the prognosis is on him yet. He'll probably be the victim of the myseterious accident in a few years. He'll color outside the lines one too many times, getting his orange crayon on her side of the desk and.... whack, little boy slipped and broke his neck.

heh heh.