Things I am good at

There are two things that I am extraordinarily good at. Now, you might wave these talents off because there are people in the world who are real experts at important things like understanding accounting treatments for complex transactions or holding their breath underwater for longer than three minutes. I disagree. Sometimes the simple quality of your life can be determined by how well and how much attention you pay to the small pleasures of your day and of those around you. For me there are two things that bring me joy:

1) I make seriously good smoothies
2) I make seriously good sandwiches

Recently I was sick on an overseas flight. It got the the point that I was chugging the free waters and orange juice in the galley of the plane, knowing I would throw it up about 15 minutes later, just to have something to wet my mouth. I can not explain this thirst. If you've ever thrown up 28 times in less than 24 hours you probably know the feeling. I was literally dreaming about cold beverages. I was moaning for them in a feverish delerium. Alexander made me chamomile tea when we got home. Chamomile tea is supposedly great for your stomach, but also dries the hell out of your throat and mouth. Never drink it if you are thirsty. What was once a mild tea becomes Satan's drink. This is a torture I can not explain. With every sip of liquid somehow my mouth became drier. The more I drank the thirstier I got. I think I understand the undead pirates from Pirates of the Caribbean now. Arggh. To taste a smoothie....


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I wanted one so badly. When Alexander came to check on me I asked if he would make a smoothie with just banana, ice, a little water and a dab of honey. He came back with an amateur smoothie that broke my heart. I wanted cold, smooth liquid. I got a banana-heavy, ice-light, sweet sludge. The man is almost a gourmet chef, but that doens't mean he can make a smoothie. So I made one myself. Don't be shy with the ice. Whatever liquid you choose, fill it up only as far as the ice, ice cream, fruit or whatever solids you have in there.

At our house we don't have anything to eat. What we have is stuff that you combine together that makes something to eat. It's unreal. At any one point I am two to three degrees of process away from thoughtlessly shoving something in my mouth. Since my little sick time I can't shake the smoothy obsession. I am thirsty to the depths of my soul still and wish I could mix all of my food with ice and drink it with a straw. Today I made a smoothie instead of having my usual piece of cake. One small banana, ice, a little milk, some sliced almonds and a dab of honey. Perfect. Delicious. I am a genius.




I don't know where I got my sandwich-making talent. It definitely wasn't my mom- whose sandwich inards were usually found glistening in mayonaise and dangling out of the back of my bread by the time I opened my lunch bag. She stopped making my lunch when I was twelve. I was angry, but looking back maybe it was part of my training. I spent the weekend with some kids (younger than 12) who wanted to "help" by preparing our sandwiches for the day. Alexander and I were nervous. In our house, I always make the sandwiches. I work alone. Why? because what those kids "helped" in was making some serious crap sandwiches. Kids, never under any circumstances just lay a stack of meat on bread and call it a sandwich. Get creative. Always fold the meat and cheese, seperate with lettuce or something else. No one likes to bite into an inch thick wall of salami.

I am actually sad as I said I would stop writing when I finished my smoothy. Sadly, I have finished my smoothy.