Do you hear that, Mr. Anderson? That is the sound of inevitability.

We are watching a lot of World Cup over here. It's so amazing that I have started calling it Football. Really because it's called fußball in German and I am not quick enough in the head to go two full translatation steps. That would mean translating fussball to football and then another step into soccer. I guess that's what happened to Madonna and her British accent.

When we lived in Montreal we were huge hockey fans. Hockey is such an amazing sport. It's fast and athletic. There's strategy, sweat and blood as opposed to say baseball which I will never understand. How can you have a gut and be a professional athlete? I find hockey and soccer similarly appealing. A wonderful friend of mine and a sports fanatic says he doesn't like soccer because there aren't enough goals. That is like saying you don't like soccer because it's not exciting enough. Or like saying you don't like boxing because there aren't enough knock-outs. Or like saying you don't like capture the flag because there's only one flag to capture. The point is not the goals, it's the game. The journey, my friend. The journey.




If you are one of the 7 people who read my site you will no doubt remember my love of the bi-athlete. I maintain that biathletes are more amazing than ninjas because they are equally as dangerous and flexible, but do it all while wearing spandex. Right now I am also declaring that soccer players (or as we Euros call them, Footballers) are also more impressive than ninjas.

Don't believe me? Watch a game. Forget that the game is probably at 0-0 and focus on what they are willing to do to make the game 1-1.






If you take away the sequins and the rollerskates, a soccer game is basically a stealth-mode roller derby match, but better. All the ass beatings, trips, kicks and carnage needs to happen either out of view of the ref or in way that looks as if it occured naturally. American Football is similar except not as artistic because the whole point is to tackle people. Soccer is about making it look like you just happened to be running so fast that you accidently axel kicked that guy's neck and slammed your cleat down on his arm to get to the ball. My favorite part is that everytime the whistle blows all the players release whatever fist full of hair, shirt or flesh they had and throw their hands in the air to say "It wasn't me!"




Neo: What are you trying to tell me? That I can dodge bullets?
Morpheus: No, Neo. I'm trying to tell you that when you're ready, you won't have to.