Coke with Ice
I went to see Pirates of the Caribbean or Fluch der Karibik 2 as we like to call it over here. Johnny Depp's voiceover is pretty good. Going to the movies in Germany is a very pleasant experience. In fact, it is way better than in the US. I used to have it close to the top of my list of reasons to remember why I want to live here. When you buy your ticket online or otherwise you pick your seat from a map of the seats so that you can pick snuggle seats or singles, back, middle-anywhere you like to sit. You don't have to arrive 40 minutes early to secure your place. Also, you can drink beer. In fact, someone comes in with a beer cart to sell you beer (and ice cream) in case you don't want to wait in line. The seats are huge and recline wayyyyy back.
Maybe because of my recent trip to the US for three weeks, I was still a little Americaned out and forgot where I was. I went to see a movie on Saturday night and decided to skip the beer and go full-on popcorn and coke. I forgot the most important lesson about living in Germany or in any other country- just do what they do and love it. It is not a negative comment, but an important one. If you try to get what you want and what you are accustomed to in your home country you will only end up fuming mad, frustrated and headed towards some sort of fundamentalist rage. It's true.
You should not try to ask for ice in your coke.
At the movie, I ordered coke and a popcorn. I asked for salty popcorn because otherwise they give you sweet popcorn. Then, I asked for coke with ICE. The guy said we don't have ice. First of all, WTF? How can you have a concession stand and no ice. The ice-maker is usually just the bottom part of the soda fountain!! But anyway I have been here for a year and a half and am kind of resigned to the fact that ice is harder to get than a free blowjob. Seriously, if you are lucky enough that they actually have ice it is not coming to you in any sort of bounty nor does it come with a smile. If you get ice, you maybe can get three cubes and a scowl- like here's your damn (shudder) ice you Neanderthal. Good luck with the kidney failure...
So anyway I was kind of ok with the fact that there would be no ice in my giant movie-sized cola. What annoyed me was that pimple-face decided to inform me that I do not need ice because the drink comes out already cold.
What?! Don't tell me the drink is already cold so I don't need ice. Don't tell me what I do or do not need. This is not about what I need. Trust me, I don't need two liters of lukewarm coke and a sack of popcorn at 10 at night that costs me €9.50. If you must know I like ice because it thins the coke out. I am pretty sure coke is an American company and I am pretty sure they designed the fountain and the recipe with ice in mind. I am pretty sure they make it extra thick and sweet assuming that people would drink it iced cold. Also, I like the sound of the ice in the cup, it makes me feel like I am drinking a fountain soda. I like to chew on the ice later once I have finished. It makes me feel like I am getting hydrated and not just drinking liquid candy. Don't tell me why I don't need the ice that I want!
It was my mistake though. Next time, I'll remember to get a beer. The Germans are excellent at beer.
posted by Katie @ 10:24 PM
3 Comments:
Don't chew the ice! Terrible for the teeth. I dined some months ago with our mutual curly haired friend and her cousin and said cousin's husband. The husband related a story about going to the dentist last year. The dentist took one look in his mouth and said "You chew ice, don't you?", the evidence being heavily worn down molars. I chew ice. I always have and I still do, but I try to stop myself when I remember. Before the dentist story, I had never given thought to the act. If you asked me whether or not I was an ice chewer, I wouldn't have been able to tell you unless I had a coke in front of me that I could sip and see if my natural inclination was to allow a small piece of ice to drift into my mouth at the end of the sip and slowly crunch it as I set the glass down. Well, it turns out this is my natural inclination. After I became conscious of it, I realized that I needed to crunch a cube with almost every sip. It really is like giving up heroin. I shudder to think of the smooth topography of my weary molars. I am probing them with my tongue as I type this, assessing the damage. The damage of how many years, God only knows. The point is we're not meant to chew on anything that hard. Think about it- do you ever eat anything as hard as a piece of ice? If you can muster the will to suck a Jolly Rancher into nothingness rather than the instant, delicious gratification of crunching and swallowing, you can give up ice chewing. If you don't end it now, if I don't end it now -and I say this not as a moral panic but as a matter of fact- we will surely die. Let's overcome this and live to blog about it.
Dear Feline Nursery,
The year is 2006 and I say chew some damn ice. Dental techniques have come a long way. Is this husband of the cousin of a mutual friend over 80? Does his dentist double as the silversmith?
Take Hilary Duff and her chompers as an example. Those are not the teeth God gave her. Or my favorite- Halle Berry, who says, with a straight face, (she's an actress) through her thinned nose and ultra white veneers, that she is 100% natural. They can do wonders with teeth these days.
If I happen to wear these teeth down through my love of ice then screw it, I will just get another set. Given that I am not yet thirty and have had three root canals, I think the teeth I have are freaking losers anyway.
Throw caution to the wind for once in your life, my dear friend. Don't worry about it and do what makes you happy. Or move to Europe where they don't have what you want anyway.
Tom,
In Köln, eh??
Give me a call or email. I am only a three or four hour train-ride away to sunny (that's german for rainy) Bavaria.
Welcome to Germany!
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