I am... I said

Hey gang! You may remember back a few months ago your good friend, Yeahkate discovered that she had developed a little speaking phobia. I totally choked on a conference call. Strange, no? Yeahkate has always considered herself in the upper right-hand quadrant (if you will) on the map of confidence to general greatness. In fact, I drew up a little graph to help illustrate my point. As you can see, I used to consider myself pretty damn great! As a result, my confidence was towards the top of the y axis.





I wasn't sure where this new speaking fear was coming from or why. All of sudden I just found it very hard to articulate and think in work situations. I am still ok in private situations and have no issue whatsoever making incomplete sentences in front of groups of people in another language. However, at work, in any interaction, whether in person or on the phone, with more than one person having to do with business concepts, I turned to mush. Mush means intense burning red cheeks,mouse-voice, shaking and general idiocy on my part. I think I might even stutter. It's a little bit the chicken and the egg- did I get stupid which made me nervous or did I get nervous and then feel stupid? On and on the snowball grows. There is one comforting fact. Turns out I am not alone.



As Seinfeld once said- Most people would rather be the one in the casket than giving the eulogy. So I started to do a little research on why all of sudden I suck so much? People are like animals and if we associate a situation with a bad experience our body reacts as if it is in danger. For some reason, I have learned to associate speaking about business to be just about in line with a deer's fear of hunting season. A little honesty with myself and a stroll down memory lane produced at least two other examples throughout my development when I flopped in front of a group of people- once in College and the other in Sales School. I think it was caused by a combination of "winging it" rather than actually knowing what I am talking about coupled by general nerves which I never admitted that I had.

There's that and also this year I have been in one, two, three or more situations in which I felt humiliated, sometimes by my boss. I either did it to myself or my colleagues did it. It doesn't matter. The yeahkate bubble has burst, my friends and I am trying to pump it back up. While listening to some Neil Diamond does help, there are much more powerful mechanisms out there, like Hypnotism and Osmosis. I found this list of Self Suggestions to help. I thought maybe my friends would like to try this too. There are only about 6 people reading this blog and as it turns out I think all six should be the at far right on the greatness line. In case any of you need to repair your confidence too, I thought I would share.

There are two things you should do with this after you pick out the ones that speak to you and your needs.

1) Record your voice saying these one tape. Play that tape while you are sleeping or napping
2) Memorize a few. Go running or jogging or get on a trampoline (it really says that) or lock yourself in a room for privacy. Jump around, run around, do anything physical while you shout you Self Suggestions for the world to hear. The idea is that lack of confidence and phobia are not just in your head as they show themselves physically as well. So convince your body and your mind that you rule (while indicating to those around you that you might be mildly insane.)



People like me...

People love me

People like to listen to I when I speak...

People enjoy my company...

I am at ease when I am with people...

When I stand up before a group of people, I am filled with feelings of friendliness for them. I want to do things for them. I feel their friendliness to I...

I experience a feeling of warmth and friendship flowing from the members of the audience to I...

I can feel that they are on my side. I am interested in them, I want to do things for them...

I am so interested in them, that I have sense of personal friendship with every member of my audience...

As I speak I am perfectly poised, self possessed and completely free in my expression...

I feel at ease, I present my ideas in a clear brief and direct way...

My ideas am quickly understood and accepted by others...

My mind is clear, my wit is quick...

My lips am flexible, my mouth is moist...

My breathing is deep and from the diaphragm...

My hands are poised and calm...

My gestures flow spontaneously and freely...

I speak easily, always giving a clear word picture of the thought I wish to convey...

I am poised and in control of the situation...

My legs are strong, solid and steady beneath me...

I am comfortable and peaceful...

I am secure and confident as I speak...

I speak spontaneously, sincerely and freely. Clearly expressing my meaning and my feelings at any time when I speak whether to a large audience or a small group...

As I begin, I feel this warmth and friendliness for my listeners...

As I begin, I feel their friendliness directed towards me...

I am totally confident, I am perfectly at ease...

As I talk, I have the undivided attention of the audience, and it feels great... I speak freely, fluidly with a full release of my skill and my talent...

I thoroughly enjoy speaking to any audienceÞ

Whenever I feel I can add a new view point or an interesting fact to a discussion, I speak openly and confidently... I communicate effectively and powerfully at all times...

People seek my opinions on a variety of subjects and I deliver information in an interesting and witty wayÞ

I have a special talent for expressing my thoughts and ideas vividly, with an enthusiasm that favorably impresses everyone that hears me...

When others speak I listen and I learn from them. I see their point of view...
I am a constantly maturing and growing personality...

I am fully aware of the strength and abilities that are within me...

I feel total confidence in my abilities to achieve the goals I have chosen for myself...

I believe in myself, I appreciate myself and I do good and kind things for myself...

I meet each situation as it comes with calm and quite assurance...

Everything I say, everything I do , is said and done with complete confidence and self assurance...

I walk with a spring in my step, my head is held high...

I see the beauty of life around me...

People respect me because I respect them and I respect myself...

I have confidence in my own judgment and I am honest and dependable...

I move forward from one positive achievement to another.

People are aware that I like them, and they sense my good will...

I am cheerful and enthusiastic...

I attract friends because I am friendly...

I am sincere and honest...

My personal integrity is felt by everyone I meet...

Each day I meet new friends and interesting people...

As I approach people for the first time, I feel a warmth and friendship for them.

My smile and my friendly greetings express my sincere feelings towards them...

I enjoy people and I want to do things for them...

I know that people seek me out because I am unique and I revel in their acceptance of me...

People respond to my personal integrity, my special personality and my warm friendliness draws people close to me, just as a magnet attracts iron filings...

I am a happy person full of imaginative thoughts which I pour forth constantly...

Each and every day, I feel more lovable, more interesting and I become more interested in others...

I recognize and accept the friendship that people offer I, for I truly deserve it...

I have a deep and sincere respect for myself and for my personal worth to others...

I like people - I enjoy being with people...

I am poised and confident when talking to new acquaintances or good friends...

I're secure and relaxed when I am with people...

I especially enjoy speaking to people... People are aware that I like them and they return that feeling to me...