Challenge. The Polish Post

Try to read this paragraph without letting your mind wander. Then, try to explain back to the person nearest to you what was written and why this is important. This, is my job. It's why I get paid the big bucks, Folks.

As a consequence, the current debate about the full accomplishment of the
internal market for postal services remains a very complex and diverse one
whereby many arguments building on the above mentioned 3 aspects are
bundled into a single “melting pot” which is then positioned to defend or
promote one or another point of view. Given these complexities, and the size
of the sector and the number of people whose lives are affected by this, the
impetus provided by the Commission to this project was to try to understand the
common ground that might lead to continued progress in European postal
markets. With this in mind, this project focused on the following main issues:
The sustainability of the postal universal service in each Member
State and the extent to which competition would contribute to this
sustainability in terms of service quality, end user prices, and changes
in the value proposition offered to various consumer segments;
1) The risks and opportunities that a full opening of the postal market
may give rise to, with regard to the elements mentioned just above, as
well as with respect to the impact on the USP;
2) The factors that will contribute to create a positive dynamic in the
market place between all actors (including users, Universal Service
Providers, regulatory authorities) so as to ensure that these
opportunities can be captured and risks are mitigated;
3)The mechanisms that will ensure a level playing field between the
incumbent PO and its competitors in national markets, since the
respective positions of the USP and New Entrants can be quite
asymmetric, both on the national as well as the European scale.


I am currently doing a project on the Polish Government and the Polish Post is one portion. I have been working on this project for about two weeks now and while I haven't actually accomplished more than maybe 3.5 solid hours of work on this, it has helped me to organize my closet, see what brown nail polish would look like, complete all the other duties in my job, clean my email inbox and allowed me the procrastinating time needed to become a technical computer genius that fixed my itunes7 issues. Oh. And I also watched Season 1 of the Office today before I didn't prepare for this conference call that I run.

I feel like I want to have a contest or something for maybe the most boring- No, most boring is too boring. Perhaps the most mundane, driest piece of crap project that was ever done. I think maybe an analysis on the Polish government's readiness for a Free Market Opening of the European Postal organization might be pretty high up there. Did I mention I also need to udnerstand their pension process and Health Care? Yeah, it's true. Let me tell you- it sucks. I mean the Polish pension and health care sucks. The best advice I can think of if you are Polish is to either not get sick or just die before you retire. It's not worth it, trust me. Oh- and don't mail anything either because seriously stamps are like the most expensive in all of Europe and it doens't even guarantee that the letter arrives on time or at all. You might say a Free Market Opening is just what the market needs, but a quick Barriers to Entry analysis shows that this really isn't a good idea at all. Too soon. There's still a lot of communist residue. The Polish Post is some hard mutherfuckers and if you try to come in there with alternative mail options they will break your knees, if you are lucky.

Challenge: Keeping it up for Polish Post

Try to read this paragraph without letting your mind wander. Then, try to explain back to the person nearest to you what was written and why this is important. This, is my job. It's why I get paid the big bucks, Folks.

As a consequence, the current debate about the full accomplishment of the
internal market for postal services remains a very complex and diverse one
whereby many arguments building on the above mentioned 3 aspects are
bundled into a single “melting pot” which is then positioned to defend or
promote one or another point of view. Given these complexities, and the size
of the sector and the number of people whose lives are affected by this, the
impetus provided by the Commission to this project was to try to understand the
common ground that might lead to continued progress in European postal
markets. With this in mind, this project focused on the following main issues:
The sustainability of the postal universal service in each Member
State and the extent to which competition would contribute to this
sustainability in terms of service quality, end user prices, and changes
in the value proposition offered to various consumer segments;

The risks and opportunities that a full opening of the postal market
may give rise to, with regard to the elements mentioned just above, as
well as with respect to the impact on the USP;

The factors that will contribute to create a positive dynamic in the
market place between all actors (including users, Universal Service
Providers, regulatory authorities) so as to ensure that these
opportunities can be captured and risks are mitigated;

The mechanisms that will ensure a level playing field between the
incumbent PO and its competitors in national markets, since the
respective positions of the USP and New Entrants can be quite
asymmetric, both on the national as well as the European scale.

I am currently doing a project on the Polish Government and the Polish Post is one portion. I have been working on this project for about two weeks now and while I haven#t actually accomplished more than maybe 3.5 solid hours of work on this, it has helped me to organize my closet, see what brown nail polish would look like, complete all the other duties in my job, clean my email inbox and allowed me the procrastinating time needed to become a technical computer genius that fixed my itunes7 issues. Oh. And I also watched Season 1 of the Office today before I didn't prepare for this conference call that I run.

I feel like I want to have a contest or something for maybe the most boring- No, most boring is too boring. Perhaps the most mundane, driest piece of crap project that was ever done. I think maybe an analysis on the Polish government's readiness for a Free Market Opening of the European Postal organization might be pretty high up there. Did I mention I also need to udnerstand their pension process and Health Care? Yeah, it's true. Let me tell you- it sucks. I mean the Polish pension and health care sucks. The best advice I can think of if you are Polish is to either not get sick or just die before you retire. It's not worth it, trust me. Oh- and don't mail anything either because seriously stamps are like the most expensive in all of Europe and it doens't even guarantee that the letter arrives on time or at all. You might say a Free Market Opening is just what the market needs, but a quick Barriers to Entry analysis shows that this really isn't a good idea at all. Too soon. There's still a lot of communist residue. The Polish Post is some hard mutherfuckers and if you try to come in there with alternative mail options they will break your knees, if you are lucky.

I am a Technical Genius

Yes. I am officially really smart again. Please direct all matter of technical questions and issues to me. Thank you very much.

Say for instance if you can not access iTunes7. It is only a matter of adjusting your firewalls to allow version 7 to do what 6 used to do. What's a Firewall you ask? smirk. It's this red and green icon at the bottom right hand corner that bobs up and down depending on how on fire it is and how much like a wall it wants to function as: Firewall.

GEEK FIGHT!!!!

In an effort to see if I will ever be able to download the newest episode of the Office, I have been combing the internet for some people who may have dealt with this issue. So far one solution posted has not worked. What I have found instead is endless entertainment on these apple message boards. Hilarious. I have no idea what they are talking about, but they are very eloquent and snippy. Highly intelligent bitches. Check this exchange:

MikeySan says (to a guy with my exact same problem)
You posted another iTunes 7 problem thread, and of both them blame iTunes in the subject line and post body.

Have you stopped to think that it's not iTunes, but something going on with your computer specifically? What troubleshooting have you done?__________________

Mikeysan is not very Zen and angry that someone would insult his apple stuff. He wants to start something. My man GPhaze is a fairly good diplomat and clearly not a fighter by nature

GPHAZE Says:that is entirely possible, however, after I "backgraded" to iTunes 6, all the problems went away and things work fine now.

I guess it could be my computer, but things work with old iTunes, and that works for me.Plus, iTunes 7 says it can't connect with the network, yet ALL other web-related applications I have running right now are able to connect with the web, get mail, update themselves, or whatever they do.

iTunes 7 wouldn't connect with the Podcast directory either.

So, based on all those things, plus the fact that all problems vanish when I go back to iTunes 6 leads me to believe the problem lies with iTunes 7.
Not trying to harsh anyone's buzz here.. I love apple stuff, but nobody's perfect.

Round 1: GPHaze!

Mikeysan is getting heated: I know he's pissed because he's using Ockham's Razor to point out that the simplist explanation is that GPHaze is a dick.
And other apps get to the Internet, but not the servers and services that iTunes contacts. Did you think about that? The iTunes Store has been HAMMERED since the conference yesterday--I'm still having trouble once in a while today, though it's almost perfect now. Did you consider that between trying iTunes 7 and moving back to 6 that the hiccup you were experiencing vanished? Or that iTunes 6 is contacting different services? You don't know what's going on behind the scenes.

There's a lot of info you don't have, and there haven't been massive reports of failures like there have been on your machine. Ockham's Razor says to look locally first, rather than say iTunes 7 is busted.

GPHaze really does not want this fight:

OK..wait a minute, Mikey-San..I'm not attacking you. I appreciate your suggestions, but what it comes down to is this:

1. iTunes 7 has problems which I enumerated

2. iTunes 6 has none of those problems.

ipso facto, I assume iTunes 7 has some kind of issue, and since it seems to have the problem, I chose to eliminate it rather than spend my whole day trying to debug my whole system.

that's all.

He's says he's not attacking MikeySan, but I think his use of Latin says otherwise.

MikeySan comes back with some Latin of his own and also a plea for mercy-

I'm more fond of this Latin phrase:

Post hoc ergo propter hoc.
You assume it has an issue, and you're discounting the notion that you might need to troubleshoot your system. In fact, you should be doing this first before jumping into the assumption you've made, especially after saying that you've had multiple problems.

You may spend time troubleshooting and determine that there is indeed a real bug that's affecting people. You may discover that your system is having problems. You may discover that part of your issue (e.g., this server connection issue) is related to iTunes Store stress, your Internet connection (say, a wonky path/name server between your box and the iTunes Store), or whatever.

Do you see the point I'm trying to make? You refuse to troubleshoot--as I've quoted above--and jump straight to the problems being iTunes 7's fault. What kind of reaction do you expect?

And the winner is GPHaze for making MikeySan look, not like a geek, but worse, a doucebag.
GPHAZE Says:
OK..I am duly chastised.

I thank you for your helpful suggestions, will look into them if I have the time.

thank you!

GpHaze hasn't made a grammar mistake since 1886. There is no way he forgot to capitalize his T. He totally meant Fuck You! and not thank you! Burn, MikeySan.

Hey, itunes 7! YOU SUCK!

All I wanted to do was have Beyonce's B-Day album. I like that song Ring the Alarm or whatever it is. I got rage too and I'll be damned if I see another chick on your arm. RING THE ALARM.

itunes said I couldn't have the album unless I upgraded. I have avoided this for, well since I got my ipod. Everytime I plug it in I get asked if I want to upgrade. NO! All you little MAC freaks out there who claim apple has no bugs and the operating system is so superior and never freezes whah whah whah. Just admit it looks cooler and that it has the same damn problems as any other piece of technology. I wasn't thinking and I really did want some Beyonce.

Thanks to itunes 7 I can no longer actually access the Music Store. It says it doesn't have an internet connection. Also, my entire PC has somehow been let in on the secret that I am in Germany so that even in BLOGGER the commands are all in German. Would I rather Als Entwurf speichern or save as draft. Save as draft, my friend. I wonder if itumes won't let me on itunes in the US because I am in Germany. Well, this wasn't a problem with version 6. Isn't it my right as an American to buy Beyonce?

This is really pissing me off because I can't get through a day without a new episode of the Office to take me to bed. I look forward to it all day and use it as bait to actually finish my work so I can get in bed and crack up laughing. I have seen the ones on my ipod about 8 times each now. I think the show is premiering Thursday night and I am seriously going to need to see the new episodes. This is life or death people and Apple fucked me. It burns worse because I was led to believe they are some techno geniuses over there. I have come to expect with my PC that about every fifth month, if the moon shines just right, I will lose whatever Powerpoint I am working on to "corrupted file" and that sometimes I need to reboot for no reason other than my PC is hot and tired. These are things I accept about my computer. I respect it though- at least it recognizes that I prefer English and that I like to go on the internet to buy things and doesn't go telling every program on earth that I really live in Germany.

Screw you, Apple and all your false hopes and dreams. You owe me.

Life in Heels

A comment by a frequent reader reminded me of something I saw last week in Milan and desperately wanted to share, but had neither my camera, nor a friend to share it with.




I am one of the people who feel that my feet, like Barbie's, were made for heels. If I put flat shoes on I just don't feel right. I like heels because they force me to walk taller and also look taller too. this comes in handy with Alexander who is about double my height. Soon my nieces and nephew will be taller than I am and they are still in the single digit ages. I think living in New York with all the shorties made me feel taller. I have realized since living in Europe with the Northern Amazons that I am not, at all, tall.

The picture below is of people going to Oktoberfest. Of course, the woman is wearing the most sensible shoes she can find. The germans in my hood are all about sensible shoes. Berkinstocks were born here for a reason. I bought myself a pair of old lady shoes when I first got here half as a joke and half because I thought, why not? I think we call them nursing shoes. They gave me blisters. My normal heels here are the subject of some excitement as everyone likes to comment- how do you walk in those, how can you even stand?? This is usually said with the old Fart Face.

But, alas, I found my people in Italy last week. In Milan it is not uncommon to see a lot of motorcycles, vespas, scooters, and bikes on the street. I guess parking is tough so it's a logical choice. They take these things to work and ride on them in their work clothing. I had to do a double-take a number of times because for me it is fun to see an older man decked out in a suit and tie riding a vespa. They look great! The best part is the women wear high heels in Italy to everything, everywhere. Even if they are riding their bikes or mopeds they keep their heels on. And not easy, sensible heels, but full-on spike stilettos. I was so proud.

IT'S Oktoberfest!!!!!!!!!!!

The Oktoberfest is very big celebration.The King of Bayern (Bavaria) had a big wedding. This wedding lasted eight days. Lots of people came to see it, and now it is a big celebration every year in Munchen (Munich). It is a very nice, old city. It has lots of history and it is interesting for tourists.

It it is the biggest celebration in the world. Lots of german Beer, Braceln(special cake) and weiss Wurst Bratwurst(white sausage) Sauerkraut and Schnaps are drunk and eaten. Some pepole spend lots of money during this fest.

I bet a lot of you didn't know that Oktoberfest is actually in September, did you? Also, that all of the locals actually dress up in lederhosen to go to Oktoberfest. It's not like DisneyWorld where the park pays to have characters walk around. These are just regular people heading on down to the party. Seriously. I took these on Saturday. I didn't actually go to Oktoberfest, I was just taking the train back from the airport. The place was packed. This is my favorite couple though. Now, that's a real woman!

Sometimes when people clap, they are just happy it's over

Sometimes I am envious of Alexander. He has been practicing his whole life. He has studied 1000's of hours with a tutor, taught 1000 of hours as a tutor, designed programs, organized the ticket sales, marketed the concert, rehearsed with the orchestra and on and on without really any pay at all relative... However, at the end of all that, for a few brief minutes an entire room applauds you. If you're lucky they even stand up and clap or stamp their feet. Some even whistle and shout. It's during this time that I think, Lucky Duck! No one claps for me when I hand my work in. That has just got to be a great feeling.



However, I went to a concert on Saturday night. It was lots of fun, small and entertaining. It was a trio performing Romanian folk songs. They kind of all sounded the same, but it was fun nonetheless and they had brought a number of strange things that I guess pass as instruments in Romania. One was a half of a violin with a horn sticking out of it. It was as if a violin and trumpet had a kid and the child got all the bad features from both parents. The other was a gigantic long, round flute that you put your lips around and blow. Yes. Also, the penis is called the skin flute in German. So no joke necessary there. Anyway, the concert was good, but it was also really long. There were at least 15 songs. We hadn't eaten and were planning on going to the beer pub haus thing on the corner for a schnitzel and fries when it was over. How funny is the word, Schnitzel? Shall we get a Schnitzel after this? I think tonight is Schnitzel night at the Thorbräu.

When they were done we all clapped wildly. I was about to ponder again how no one claps for me boo hoo hooo when it sort of occured to me. I think the audience is only half clapping for the Romanian music and half clapping for the anticipated arrival of their schnitzel. Schnit-zel! Schnit-zel! Schnit-zel!! My suspicions were confirmed when the trio picked up their various flutes and mutated voilin/horn hybrid for an encore and the collective face of the audience fell. After the encore the clapping was much more careful, sending the message loud and clear. We really liked your music, but it's over now ok? APPLAUSE.

Not Dead, just working

Dear Tara, David, Rachel, Todd, Tom, and maybe few others who do not comment,

I have been incredibly busy at work and also traveling (whoo hooo!) I was in Milano or Mailand as we like to call it in Tedesco. I had quite possibly the most terrifying week ever last week for me given my new phobias of speaking on conference calls and making speeches. The good news is, I did really well on both of them! The bad news is, it wasn't perfect and I may have had something hanging out of my nose during the face to face one. On Monday I presented our competitive position to a conference call of 47 participants, seven of whom may have been listening. I only fudged one part where I got to a slide in my powerpoint and honestly had no idea what it was trying to say so I started to read the bullet points which also made no sense. Then, I said something non-sensical like, "and that is why we want to have to going forward. And on slide 14...." oh well. There's thinking on your feet for you. Still, no shakey mouse voice and no pounding heart.

I actually found a new technique after all of my research on the internet on how to improve or get over this new fear. I found some strange tapping therapy- kind of like accupuncture, but with no needles, instead you just tap. While you tap you say some sentence over and over. "Even though I used to feel_______________ I know now that I am __________________." First you tap the meaty bottom part of your hand (with your pointer and middle fingers) the place where you would use to karate chop a pile of wood to break it in half. Then the exact top of your head, right above your eyebrows, under your eyes, under your nose, under your bottom lip, right under your collar bone and then about four inches under your pits. Try it. I can't guarantee that it works, but it definitely helped me. Phobias are irrational, People. So it kind of makes sense that some crazy tapping might make them go away. If there's no sense in the problem, why have a solution that makes sense?

Thursday I was in Milan and stood up in front of 26 Consulting Partners in our Banking practice and presented on materials that I wrote and prepared. My voice sucked balls for the first 10 minutes and I think that disgusting suction sound of my dry mouth opening and closing was echoing off of the marble floors. pllsgghhhrrr pllffffccgggghhh, but after a few minutes it kind of cleared up and I think I ruled that presentation. Towards the end I started to feel repore with the group, noticed they were sort of drifting and yelled, "are you even listening to me" to which one guy said it was really noisy by them as a joke and so I repeated myself in a shouting voice to which everyone laughed and may even have remembered what I said.



On the downside, it is possible that I delivered my speech with a small piece of snot in my left nostril sort of attaching itself to the inner wall of my nose. At the least, I think it was there during lunch. I found it shortly after lunch while applying more lipstick. So, good speech. May have had something hanging out of my nose for part or all of it (50 minutes , FYI) You know, you can't win them all. All I asked for was to be able to present effectively. I guess I forgot to cover all the bases. Is there a tapping technique for clean noses?